So a few days ago I reached an all time low, as far as my subjective and updated memory can recollect. I was on the brink of ending it all when I was scraping frantically for other alternatives. I typed in ‘run away’ into Google and happened on The Runaway Guide. The Runaway of the blog, or Lief, run away from home at 16 and is still on the road 10 years later. He also seems to be a very positive and inspiring proponent of running away. In that suicidal state of mind I felt a sense of manic euphoria come over me. I went from desolation to a new horizon way too quickly for me to feel comfortable with the transition, but I was grateful for the change in direction despite my wariness regarding the comedown. Even now, with things a little less reactive, I have maintained this thought and want to explore its possibilities. Hopefully, I can maintain the enthusiasm. I want to be alive. I don’t want to be dead. I don’t want to be depressed and lamenting unrequited love. And now there’s another option for life that appeals to me. I just need to be bold and robust in my convictions and commitment to the unpredictable prospects that might await me.
I have now reactivated Facebook, though it is now solely dedicated to travel blogs and brain fodder. I am no longer following or receiving notifications for friends and family, due to the conditions that motivated me to deactivate still existing. Facebook has essentially become my media outlet for running, or walking long distances with a backpack, and surviving in the big wide world without the comforting weight of the bricks and mortar. I have to admit I’ve never been particularly adventurous in my actions. I have always been quite adventurous in thought, but the inability in finding someone with which to share the enthusiasm of those thoughts has always seemed to consign those erupting ideas to the intangible.
I haven’t made any date yet. I’m going to rap up the business and gather as much money as I can. I’m a modest fella, which means I definitely won’t be travelling luxury. In fact, I intend to walk and hitch and camp. I thought I might get in some practice first by walking and hitching and camping to some friends and family who are now scattered and dotted around the south and east of England. It’ll be nice to get about. Hopefully the weather won’t turn too shitty too quickly, but hey, you can’t control the weather. And if you choose the road and jungle you better be prepared for all sorts. I can roll with the punches as well as smell the roses.
My first port of call with regards a proper stop once I endeavour on the proper journey will be the south of France. I’ve heard there’s a beach community there that’s subsidised by the French government where you can also recieve free bread and cheese. Sounds pretty good. After this I was thinking definitely Barcelona and maybe Portugal. But, I haven’t really got very far with that train of thought as I’m still thinking about the kit I’ll need for the journey and how I’ll subsidise myself with work once the money starts to run out.
Anyway, to tie in with my libertarian social ambitions I intend to research communities around the world where anarchist and socialist ideals are happening. I have done much study of these, but to witness the practicalities of these ideals seems like to good an experience not to take up, given my political/social inclination and travelling ambition. I’m still relatively young [tic] and my back and body is probably in the best shape it’s been in for years. Though, I haven’t had a medical check up for a very long time, and I must have one before I go. I must also visit a dentist. Who wants to build themselves up for a life changer only to have a sick spanner thrown in the biological works at the last moment?!
These are the embryos of my plans at the minute. It’s just me anyway. My parents, my sister, and my niece will cope just fine. Even though they don’t say much regarding my lifestyle I know they must worry about my eccentric route and its affect on me. This way I can alleviate their worry by removing myself from the gaze. I can withdraw myself from the indoctrinated norms that shackle us all to dogmatic comparison. I want to be free. I will probably set off before my birthday in December and after the Million Mask March on November 5th. I’ll try to keep this updated as I’m sure things will change dramatically before then, yet as of this moment I feel this is the only way for me.
If you have any suggestions regarding anything I’ve discussed please share with me.